Sketch: Fuck Me Charles

Fuck Me, Charles
SCENE 1
Int. Dan’s breakfast nook. Dan and Charles are in the middle of brunch. 
Charles: lov-
Dan: What was that?
Charles: lovely home I was saying... again. So lovely I wanted to say again. 
Dan: thank you
Charles: what did you call this again?
Dan: what did I call what again?
Charles: (points this time) I say what did you call this again? A Breakfast quiche?
Dan: yes breakfast quiche. 
Charles: lovely. 
(Eating)
Charles: 
SCENE 2
int. Charles and Liza’s apt. They are sitting down for tea at an appropriate/uptight distance from one another
Charles: Dan’s a good worker. I like him. 
Liza: that’s nice
Charles: He’s just in his own head too much
Liza: how unfortunate
Charles: I think he’ll be a great addition to the firm once he gets a firmer head on his shoulders
Liza: yes
Charles: great with numbers. Needs to get better with people. 
Liza: hmm
Charles: ha. don’t we all
Liza: YES
(Pause)
Charles: lovely tea dear
Liza: fuck me, Charles
Charles: Eliza
Liza: oh fuck me, Charles
Charles: I’m tired I just got back from an exhausting lunch. I thought we could just have some of your lovely tea dear
Liza: oh you never want to fuck me anymore. 
Charles: now that’s not true. 
Liza: when’s the last time we fucked
Charles: oh it couldn’t have been that long. why I seem to recall last Tuesday after luncheon 
Liza: it’s been months
Charles: months? (Disbelief)really Eliza Then how is it that I recall last Tuesday after luncheon…
Liza: I gave you a handy in the hopes it might excite you but you simply came in my hand. 
Charles: wonderful afternoon really. Roast and potatoes cooked to perfection. Today’s lunch was absolutely dreadful by comparison. 
Liza: fuck me, Charles
Charles: (raising voice just slightly) now Liza
Liza: just fuck me, Charles. Please. Just fuck me. Fuck me Charles fuck me
Charles: I’m sorry Eliza I hadn’t gathered you were feeling this way at all. 
Liza: really?
Charles: of course. And besides, I was gone all afternoon. Have you ever thought about self-pleasure...
Liza: Oh I’ve more than thought about it Charles
Charles: (continues)I say. What were you doing last weekend while I was away on business? 
Liza: FOR 48 HOURS I did nothing but self-pleasure. 
Charles: My word Eliza
Liza: for 48 hours I ruined my body with self-pleasure. I couldn’t even stand for most of the day. 
Charles: Eliza!
Liza: I had to peel myself off the floor to go to the bathroom 
Charles: now you’re just being crass
Liza: I messed myself up so bad I was briefly incontinent. 
Charles: Eliza
Liza: I wet myself. (Pause) fuck me, Charles!
Charles: why it’s nearly 3 in the afternoon, Liza. What would the neighbors say if they heard
Liza: I want them to hear Charles oh how I want them to hear. To complain about us again like they used to
Charles: just seems rude at our age
Liza: we used to always hear complaints. You are a groaner after all. Especially when you
Charles: Liza!
Liza: oh fuck me, Charles. Fuck me. I’m so wet I’m sliding out of my chair. 
Charles: I apologize if I’ve been neglecting you but I can’t simply turn it on out of nowhere. 
Liza: now we’re talking baby
Charles: (holds out hand between them) I require a bit of a build-up. 
Liza: if you want to use a dildo I’d be into that. 
Charles: Emotional intimacy. 
Liza: oh I’m tired of getting emotionally intimate. (Spits). I want to be fucked. Do me with no emotion Charles just plow away at me for once
Charles:(Aroused) My word Eliza. 
Liza:(gets up) put me in an ambulance Charles. Send me to the hospital. Make me see God!
Charles: My word Eliza! I just came. 
Liza: oh fine tell me about your work friend.

Lights

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Freelance work: Home Decour

Cover Up that Wall! Applying Prints to Home Decor It can be difficult deciding on what to use to decorate a room, or on what it is you want a room to say. Even if you decide on minimalist decor, too much blank space just starts to look empty. It’s always good to spice up a wall with a little something to draw attention and add some interest.  There are lots of ways to do this, but the most popular by far is to put up some art, whether that be on some mounted china or a nice canvas print. A print is a good option for the ease with which they can be purchased and shipped online. There are also many different styles to fit your design choice so, even if its minimal a nice black and white print would fit right in. It’s always important to match the art with the style no matter what. Make sure to consider the color and the frame when hanging your art.  Tips for Hanging Art First get a good feel for the room where you are placing the print. What’s the mood of the room?...
Read more

Sketch: Potluck

Potluck Surprise Andy and Patrick ring the doorbell. Andy is holding a food dish with saran wrap. It’s deviled eggs. Mark answers the door.  Mark: haha! Right on.  Andy! Patrick! Come on in. Ooo are those deviled eggs for the party or just for me. Haha.  Andy: don’t worry I made plenty for both. Oh my god, did you redo your wallpaper?  Andy steps inside Mark: we painted actually. It’s called Mint green.  Patrick follows in.  Patrick: Mark Mark: Patrick. They shake.  Patrick: how’re you?  Mark: good.  Patrick: how’re the kids? Mark: you know kids  Patrick : nods head knowingly Yeah.  As Mark is closing the door Stuart runs up with food tray covered in tinfoil.  Stuart: wait. Wait. Don’t close the door in my face now.  Mark: get in here Stuart.  Interrior. Doorway.  Mark: leans in. What’s in the tray Stuart. Show me the goods or you don’t make it past this poin...
Read more

Sketch: Tailwind!

TAILWIND!  Characters: 8 Setting: Airplane.  We open on John in his seat. He is checking his watch and appears to be trying to get comfortable and close his eyes. He seems nervous because of what he is hearing. [muttering] Tracy Excuse me I think that’s my seat Dick Oh great let me just get up Tracy Actually, I was wondering if I could sit there . I’m probably going to need to use the bathroom during the flight as you can see. John has been getting more restless. He can’t keep still, tossing and turning, adjusting. Boom. A close up of a glass of water vibrating. Dick Oh, so you… Boom. the glass of water again. Tracy Yeah, I was wondering if we could switch seats. The words echo and John shoots up. From far down the aisle, we see him as he rushes towards Tracy and Dick, pushing people into seats out of his way. He stops in front of Tracy. John What’s all the commotion about down here Tracy I was just asking if he minded...
Read more